Do Your Parents Love You Or Hate You?

The key to that conversation is for you to not become angry . You will both have different perspectives about past incidents, and the details aren’t important. Just find out what needs to happen for the two of you to move forward. You are right; your situation is very complicated and difficult. Since you have ADD and Depression, finding a therapist you connect with is very important. Because your dad passed away and because your mom struggles with addiction, the best thing you can do is find as many supportive adults in your life and lean on them.

Even when parents are stressed, they usually do not want to know that their teen is struggling in all areas. Tell her you feel dead inside and that you feel like things are not going to get better. Since you have started cutting, getting the help of a therapist really will help you in the long run. If you are convinced that your parents hate you, and nothing you are doing to fix it is working, you should get therapy. Talking to a counselor will help you work through the emotions you are feeling. If possible, you can take your parents with you for a family counseling session.

why do my parents hate me

None of us should allow estrangement to define us. If estrangement has touched your life, no matter which side, may it simply be one aspect of the total you. At this time I would like to share some general observations I have formulated over time about the entire subject of parent-adult child estrangement.

They search everything that’s on their minds. And these search terms sadly reflect what a lot of teens feel about their relationships with their parents. As a parent, you need to determine if there are mental health issues involved with your child. If you feel or discover that medical conditions are causing the family separation, it can be very challenging to get your child back under your roof or into your life. This is a whole new world that is something completely new and scary to you, and sometimes we as parents act out of fear, and it looks like anger. In our attempt to be supportive, friends and family may also fuel our feelings of betrayal, inadvertently increasing our anger.

Do Your Parents Love You Or Hate You?

Personally, I would bite my tongue, respect my daughter’s wishes to be in a relationship with this man, and remain in contact. If you are estranged and he is, in fact, abusive to her still, you want to stay in touch so she knows she has someone to turn to should she ever need help. You had ~18 years to guide and instruct him; now it’s time he does what he feels is best for him.

  • I am recently estranged from my oldest son.
  • Give him advice, and/or call a reliable helpline or child protective services or whatever.
  • I’ve cut, starved myself, and often wish I didn’t exist because deep I down I’m a mistake.
  • If your relationship is salvageable, which most are, consider going to family therapy to work through your issues with your parent.
  • Despite what people say Google is really not your friend, nor is the internet, but people are, parents, coworkers, neighbors believe in them not the stupid internet.

Once again, explain that it wasn’t their fault. Acknowledge their pain, even if it was long ago. Let them tell you how it was for them without being defensive. And tell them you hope they can move on, because you have. Ten Ways Parents Destroy Their Children’s Self-EsteemMany parents claim that they have their children’s best interests at heart. However, they employ methods that oftentimes demolish and destroy their children’s sense of self-worth.

Reasons Behind Why I Hate My Dad:

This progressed to no contact from Oct until after New Year, and eventually, full no contact. One year, my mother even cancelled Christmas because I wouldn’t visit. If she couldn’t have what she wanted then no-one would, and my family turned on me for ruining things. We all look at life through our own filtered lenses.

The values of a parent and child can differ a lot. It is tough to accept the differences among close-knit relationships, but acceptance is the way of love. Parents often do not approve of dressing, religious views, or eating habits. They want their children to follow their lines of morality.

Nobody tells me what to think and feel, I alone figure out what I think and how I feel. I don’t need John telling me who is my friend and who is enemy, who is toxic and who isn’t. John doesn’t get to decide that for me. I also think John is struggling, trying to choose between denial and the red pill. Dismissing his own thoughts because of “how ridiculous that sounds”. I bet his abusive parents trained him to dismiss his own perceptions because they “sound ridiculous”.


It’s just a hard habit to shake, just based on the environment I grew up in. I’m still working on kicking that vice with baby steps. Thanks for putting it into perspective for me. Right now I’m in a place where I find comfort and healing listening to other survivors and/or “experts” that help survivors. Watching that witch with crooked teeth does not bring anything other than unneeded aggravation into my life, so I steer clear, for now. “Each person’s reality is just that.” Yes and no.